Amin English Blog

 Something I seem to be certain of is being successful in life. Hard determination, hard work and major dedication is something I practice and pray upon every day I wake up, every time I go to sleep and every time I do something I feel I need to.  I have big dreams of being great in life and the highest of hopes to be the best version of myself now and for years to come. My upbringing was different from a lot of the other kids but I was told young and still being told til this day that It is not a bout where I come from, How I came from there but where I will end up later in life. Ever since I was young I've been telling myself I'll be wealthy, healthy and happy and is something I am very certain of. 

 I wish to give thanks, thanks to those who did for me and do for me constantly without me asking. The support I had growing up and still have as I grow, I give more thanks. Thank you to my mother especially for being the best she could be for me and all 7 of my siblings, for providing a life she in fact did not live on her own, for always and I mean always being the back bone of her household, the father in our lives and the strongest most beautiful woman we've ever known. Conversing with us our problems, as she may not always have a solution but always listened, always. Thanks to my mother for never leaving our side, never giving us the cold shoulder, never disowning us in any way and never blinding herself when we were visible, for that I give thanks. 

 I honestly don't think I've received a gift in the wrong way, but I have received gifts I didn't really want. Christmas of 2016 was rough, very rough. My household was going through a very hard time. Mom was less of a car and couldn't really provide for us as she wished so she had to make do when the holidays came. On Christmas the gifts we were given were not what we expected nor wanted, or at least that was the case for me. The clothes I got were from Walmart and the shoes I got were not something I'd myself ask for or wear if it was in my closet. Although I didn't like the gifts and couldn't hide the fact that I didn't like them, I kept an open eye that my mama did the best she could for us and that she did all she could that day. 

 I can't go down a list and tell every single thing I've found out growing up but I can tell one in particular. I was in the 7th grade and woke up one morning, my mom and brother were gone with no warning or telling the day before. I went to school and still heard nothing from either my mom or brother. I got out of school and my older brother's car was there, I was home for about an hour and still heard nothing from my mom or anyone. Comes to find out, my oldest brother was arrested that morning and my grandfather passed on that same morning. 

 When I was in 5th grade, I told a friend my deepest secret at the time in hopes that he'd keep it and that'd just be our secret now. I told Him and he promised, swore up and down that no one would know. The next day I was in class and heard my name more than usual, I turned around and it was my friend and a group of his friends. I leaned in closer to hear what they were talking about and It just so happened to be a conversation about our previous conversation. I was so mad, I just blanked out and went off. 

 After all these years, procrastinating and thinking I've finally come to the conclusion I owe myself an apology. An apology for all the troubles I've caused myself, others and trouble that interfered with anything I had going on at any given time. For all the times I've brought tears to my mothers eyes, disrespected any of my related elders and irritating any soul close to me. I apologize for not being the best sibling to my siblings, having the worst attitude for no reason and being a pain when It wasn't necessary. 

 Something I used to know how to do is a front flip when I was younger. Now when I try and flip it isn't as easy as it used to be compared to when I was in my earlier years. Back then I could flip with no problem, barrel roll with no problem and even hit a cartwheel with no problem but now I just throw my body and land wrong. Falling on my head, neck and back prevents me from trying again.